New Report: Great Satan Not Defeated!

In a stunning setback to the Al Queda network, a new report by their internal departments indicate that the war against the Great Satan has only escalated.

“It was one of those Bin Laden myths that something like this would work,” said an Al Queda operative who insisted on being identified as Mohammed X.

This report is causing an uproar among the Al Queda intellectuals such as Osama Bin Laden and John F. Kerry (who served in Vietnam).

When asked for comment OBL had the following statement: “We apparently misjudged America. We figured that if we attacked them that this horrible Great Satan would somehow surrender. We are looking at our internal data reports to figure out what went wrong. By all rights, they should have thrown up their hands in surrender. At this point, we speculate that we grossly over counted the number of Democrats.”

Al Queda is currently analyzing all of its options including choosing easier targets such as women, children, and the Pope. Other options available include converting Islam into a religion of peace. Unfortunately, all attempts at this have lead to violent protests.