Pope Remarks Lead to Decline of Muslim Attendance

In what came to the Vatican as a complete surprise, recent attendance figures show a stark decline in the number of Muslims attending Catholic mass.

Said a Vatican spokesman, who declined to be identified, "We were really taken aback by such figures. The Pope has always relied on the Muslim population to come hear the words of Christ."

Although no official reasons were cited, many speculate that the decline in attendance can be atributed to the Pope's recent public remarks where he quoted a Byzantine emperor where he said, "Islam is half as good at Scientology."

Several events are planned in interfaith gatherins. The Catholics will be going to church to light candles and pray; the Muslims will be going to their local mosques to stock up on weapons.